I want to talk about a disturbing trend….

This post was originally intended to be a continuation of a series which up until now has only a part 1 and a part 2. In the light of a few realisations, however, I changed my mind.

Firstly, it is a lengthy enough topic to be a series in its own right. Secondly, although it initially appears that it is directed at the menfolk (same as the other two), I do acknowledge that both genders are guilty of perpetrating this evil.

What is this, you ask? Well, it involves the issue of social etiquette- or the lack thereof. While we were growing up, there seemed to be some tenets of social etiquette that were taken for granted; or maybe I just lived a sheltered life, because nowadays just about anything goes.

Let me give an example:

SCENARIO 1: Lady A and Guy B meet at a random social gathering. They have a conversation at the end of which they exchange numbers. Guy B decides to chat up Lady A on Whatsapp a few days later:


Really, nigga?!

Dear country people, except someone introduced themselves to you as ‘baby’ or ‘sweetie’, or gave you the permission to address them as such, this behaviour is just plain mannerlessness. Random terms of endearment such as these are the sole preserve of family and friends i.e human beings with whom one is in an actual relationship. You do know that in certain climes that could count as sexual harassment, abi? You didn’t? Well, you are welcome.

SCENARIO 2: Lady A rolls her eyes at this ‘boundary overstepping’ but decides to let it slide.

Wawu! Wawu!! Wawu!!!

Again, o ye uncultured creatures of the Seven Rivers, boundaries!

Unsolicited personal advice, admonitions, and all such things are the reserve of family and friends. And until you earn either of such titles, you can never go wrong with respecting yourself and minding your business. A simple “oh, okay,” or even “lol” whilst moving on to the next item on the agenda wee not kill you, brother holy nweje.

If the auntie should say let her answer you the way comments like yours deserve to be answered now, they will say her own is too much, dazz why she never see husband.

SCENARIO 3: This one is a personal favourite.

Lady A, in the spirit of Christianity and forebearance bites her tongue and steers the conversation to other matters and then halfway through:

Haba mallam!😨 Kadan kadan fa.

Do you want to wounjure yasef?

And the major proponents of this particular malady are more often than not:

a. The ones that are looking for where to chop and clean mouth and think it is by Whatsapp message. You need to go and re-cook that your jazz. E never done.

b. The ones that have given themselves target to marry by December and wake up one October morning and want to turn into Solomon Grundy.

Ogbeni camdan, take number and join queue.

My recommended answer to such a somebody is to ask them to think of their closest friend and then tell you if at any point in their life, they called him up and admonished him to be their close friend before it happened. Nope?……Didn’t think so.

And while the above are not actual conversations, I have had them in so many variations that I have lost count.

End of Part 1…… out for part 2.

To God be the glory!