I have been feeling a little disconnected lately.
At times I cannot help feeling that GOd has a little too much faith in me. There are some tests I not only see myself failing, but woefully for that matter. Yet somehow God thinks it’s a good idea to let me take them? How could I possibly pass? Or is the lesson in the failing?
You know how we always say things like “if God is all I have then I have all I need?” Ever feel like we mean that figuratively, not literally.? I know how I often wish the Holy Spirit could just become flesh for a few hours and I could call her phone or chat her up on Whatsapp and lament about everything that’s been tormenting me. And she would say how she feels me and how only yesterday so and so happened and nearly ruined her entire week. Or something like that.
I don’t know but…..yeah so I’m basically wishing I was 21 again. The thing about this aging is that less and less people have your time like that anymore. Not that they don’t care, just that they have bigger issues like our current GDP and how their children might have to wear last year’s outfit this Christmas. So, bigger issues than the very annoying message somebody sent you two days ago or how you fell mugu for the ninety hundredth time.
So as I was saying, disconnected. Not that I don’t think He will hear me but I’m not even sure what to say; I seem to have been saying a lot of things I don’t mean lately. Like yesterday, I lost something which I shouldn’t have had in the first place and after searching futilely for it, I broke down and promised God I’d return if I found it. The events of the next hour or so, proved that I’d had no intention (or will) of keeping that promise. So something else happened that forced my hand.
It is a disconnected relationship where actions have to speak because words can’t.
I need sound advice. Good, unbiased, very sensible advice. Very sensible.
Sensible Advice \sen(t)-se-bel ed’-vis\: advice from the mouth of a person who has sense in his brain.