A RANT A DAY.

Biko nu! All these young boys that imagine that because they now have a 9-5 and small change in their pockets, they can now start throwing words like ‘marriage’ and ‘wife’ around had better park well.
A lot of things have been said about marriage, but one recurring theme is: it is NOT for children. Hence, if you are still struggling to attain mental puberty, marriage should be nowhere on your to-do list for now.
And FYI:
A job does not a man make.
Some change in the bank does not a man make.
The possession of secondary sexual characteristics so does not a man make.

If you recognise yourself in any of the following then nwoke m, you should be thinking of how to finish growing instead of threatening people’s children with marriage:

  • You imagine that because you can pay for her ticket, a girl you are STILL TOASTING should drop whatever she’s doing begin come find you. Where I come from, it is the men that chase women o, so if she lives in Abeokuta then uncle, you should chase her reach Abeokuta! Not sitting your pre-pubertal ass in Sokoto or wherever and asking “so when are you coming down here?” Shior!
  • Just because you bought a girl lunch/dinner/whatever, in your mind’s eye this now gives you license to manhandle her. The one wen dey pain me pass na the ones wey dem go just manage to escort for a few drinks and instead of dropping the girl off respectably, will now want to be forming kiss by moonlight.  Unto whish levels naa? Nothing person no go see in the hands of these churen.
  • You view a recount of your sexual history as appropriate conversation for a first date. For these ones, I have no words at all.
  • You feel the need to constantly remind people that you are a man. Newsflash honey, if you really were, chances are we would have already noticed. No need to keep shoving reminders down our throats.
  • You view every discussion as an argument you must win or your (imaginary) pride is wounded.
  • You cannot handle constructive criticism. Any male that does not know when to shelve that ego and take correction is a boy. Period.

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This list is by no means exhaustive but hand I don dey pain me.

And if you did not see yourself in any of the aforementioned, before you start running off to somebody’s father with a keg of palm wine ask the nearest adult to reassess you please. Because one common trait amongst children is an amazing lack of insight.  If you have been assessed and given a clean bill of health, then feel free to carry go.

*Disclaimer: the above is the opinion of the writer, and whilst you are free to disagree to the extent of your choosing, do not imagine you can change her mind with any arguments/points you think you have. Save all that energy for marriage*

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6 thoughts on “A RANT A DAY.

  1. lmaooooooooo I can’t believe i’m binge-reading your blog. Girl, you’re giving me life. You really sound like another blogger i really like; Cherrychatter 😀

    Like

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